“We were made for Love. We were made by Love. Love is Life. Life is Love”
Today, My blog post is about “Black love” and how to sustain it through the ages. Did you know that 12% of African American marriages end in divorce? The average for American’s getting divorced is only 11% and we are ahead of that percentage. Why is that? Why can we not sustain a long lasting relationship? Today, I can’t answer those questions, but I do want to give some advice that I’ve gotten from three beautiful, strong, black couples. Let’s celebrate Black Love on this Valentine’s Day.
The first example of black love is Sederick and Sametta Fluker. They have been married for over 20yrs…HAPPILY! They have two kids and met in Montgomery, AL as college students. They both work full-time but still make time to enjoy each other and their family. Here is their advice:
Our advice is to understand each other’s values and worth and get to know each other from the inside out instead of outside in. This means, get to know their internal beauty and then factor in their external beauty. If you love the person from the inside out, you will continue to love them when the outside changes. Remember, looks can be deceiving because an apple may look good from the outside but be rotten once you bite into it.
The next example of black love Alex and Jasmine Sweet. They were college sweethearts and first laid eyes on each other in 2009.
HOW DID YOU MEET: He had just pledged Alpha and was strolling around University of Memphis’s Talent Show with his line brothers. I was hosting the show that night. Little did I know he had goggly eyes for me too. Some time later after I pledged Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., Alex and I crossed paths at a greek party. I was dancing by myself in the middle of the room and he came and joined me! We didn’t say anything to each other. We just danced like Nick Cannon and Zoe Saldana on Drum Line. Ha! He later got my phone number from one of his line brothers and called me 2 weeks later on Christmas Eve! We talked all night long until the sun came up on Christmas Day! It’s been sweet ever since. I knew I’d marry him. To date, we’ve been married for almost 2 years on May 27th. I loved Alex’s personality from the start! His energy is captivating. The two of us together is like one big party.
TWO RULES FOR KEEP MARRIAGE HEALTHY: We talk a lot! I run every decision by him even if it has nothing to do with him, and I already have my mind made up. We say I love you A Lot! I feel like 21 Savage over here, but it’s true. Ha! I hear so many couple’s that say they don’t talk or they don’t have anything to talk about. I suggest making up something to talk about. Alex is my husband, my therapist, my friend, my lover, my soulmate. I literally ache when I haven’t talked to him. The silent treatment in our house when we’re mad makes us both like sick puppies so we refrain from doing it. Talking keeps our marriage alive and thriving because we’re alway looking forward to the next conversation. It’s like hearing breaking news when I hear from him and vice versa.
Blog: Jasmine Sweet’s Lifestyle / Instagram: JasmineKatrina
The last example of black love is Caleb and Claudia Olojo. They met at a barbecue on the 4th of July and the rest was history. She was first attracted to his nature and the way he pursued her and then of course because….HE WAS A SNACK lol!
HOW DID YOU MEET: I hadn’t been divorced long, so even though I was believing God for a second chance at finding TRUE love with a man I could spend the rest of my life with, I definitely wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon. See, for a little while I had convinced myself that God was mad at me for getting divorced. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be married again. I was also scared of my own judgement at choosing another husband for myself. Finally, one day I decided to let go of those negative emotions and start giving my God more credit than I was giving Him. I lived in expectation of the good things He had in store for me, and what He had in store was beyond my wildest dreams. He sent me a man who is the most beautiful reflection and daily reminder of His love for me.
TWO RULES FOR KEEPING MARRIAGE HEALTHY: Our first rule to keep Jesus at the center of it all…Plain and simple. Our second rule is NO SECRETS! Give each other full access to phones, social media, emails, etc. It protects trust and holds each other accountable.
Instagram: King_Queen_Melanin
Now my black love started at the house of God. I met my husband at church. He saw me walking and working and he said what attracted him to me was my determination and my sense of confidence. The funny thing was when he saw me I was going through a bad breakup and had no confidence or self worth. But, God wanted him to see differently cause He knew I needed him and he needed me. Almost 5 years of marriage and we are still like newlyweds. God is good.
TWO RULES FOR KEEPING MARRIAGE HEALTHY: My husband says: He maintains a healthy marriage by striving to keep peace in his home. One way he achieves peace is to always be patient with his wife, his kids and be understanding and always think before he speaks. My advice is to always communicate. Even when it hurts to talk, talk still. Communication is the bedrock of a healthy relationship. And always pray together, eat together and sleep together.
Hope this post helps and motivates you to maintain long-lasting love or just keep hope that black love is possible. I’m praying for all marriages whether white, black, or interracial. Marriage is the bedrock of our society and we have to protect it. #amen! Don’t forget to Check out my last post on Galentine’s Day Ideas HERE
loveyou.meanit
